Perfect in Weakness

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians‬ ‭12:9-10‬ ‭

We as Americans, at least in my opinion are raised to always be strong. Never show weakness when you make a mistake, when you are sick, when you feel you have made a wrong decision, or even depressed with your current situation. We have driven ourselves to point of trying to achieve the impossible, which is perfection.

What do you classify as perfection in your eyes? Honestly, that we all can’t admit we are slaves to this world that live in. We were all born into a system. It looks different by your location, your skin, your occupation, the car you drive, the friends you hang out with. The bottom line is majority of us have mortgages, car loans, bills to keep the car and house running, healthcare bills, basic necessities, as food, gas, and medicine. These items and prices are all controlled by the system we all live under.

This is where I see the biggest need for change. We have to break trying to gain perfection and except that we are weak in many moments. We try to control our lives and we rarely allow God to control the life He created for us to live. Yes, that is based on our free will and ultimately we are in charge of lives if we choose to be. Wait? God is in control! Don’t you have friends that don’t believe in Jesus or friends with other religions? Of course you do! We don’t take the time to understand how powerful Jesus really is because we believe more about Superman or Batman. Yes, fictional lives that we have dreamed of or created in our minds.

At this point you probably think I completely off based or you agree a little bit. You will understand one day I promise, because you will be so weak that you don’t have the power to control anything! Yes, I know some you are telling yourself that he doesn’t understand what I have been through! Did you change? I have been to hell and back with my experience from invading Iraq, guess what, I didn’t change! Until you are completely weak and broken you will not change because you ultimately feel you are strong enough or made the decision when it is my time, it’s just my time.

My point is your missing out! You see in my life, I have always tried to please everyone to perfection and I would never except weakness or allow Jesus to work by surrendering. You don’t surrender when you are powerful, when you are winning, or when you are rich! You surrender during your most vulnerable and weakest point in life. Teenagers and young adults rarely understand life or even weakness. You might have been through terrible life experiences but you were not ready process them until you gain a little more life under your belt.

You ready.. l left college, went to war, got divorced, had my first child before marriage, almost divorced twice in the last 14 years, went through many career changes, and then I felt death was knocking on my door with Covid, as I was hospitalized by myself while finding out I had cancer. It took Jesus 41 years of life experiences to finally make me weak enough to listen. This is a cliff note version of my 41 years by the way.

I still can’t lift anything over a milk jug for 3 week, my CO2 is still high, and my O2 is still lower than normal. Yes I am still weak, and yes this has been the best spiritual experience of my life. I no longer live for me but for Jesus, for the first time. I am fortunate to have the opportunity to continue this experience, as I completely know that Jesus is not done with me yet. Jesus has something in store for me that I can’t even imagine. It might been the smallest thing but the biggest impact for people years after I am gone. So, yes my impact is not finished.

The question is, will I be whiling to jump once He clarifies a new calling? That will be determined on how much I learned to trust Him during my time with Jesus in my weakness. We either completely change or change under circumstances. From what I see a lot of us change under circumstances and drift back to our old habits eventually when we are back to our normal pace. Be grateful for weakness and allow Jesus to take control. What’s the worse thing that could happen? I am sure many people spend their last $20 dollars on lottery tickets for a chance to be rich!

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